What does it mean to be giving up your male privileges while transitioning between Shoes ( Genders )

Staring at someone with an urge of your thirst , no fear of walking through lone streets at night, The manpower to fight, Independent for your girlfriend & parents. No hassles of wearing any outfit any time or how am I looking question and many more what are these, these are what you will be living without for rest of your life.

From now onwards maybe you’ll be taunted by the comments about your look , or many more . For the trans womens the transition comes with the cost of losing the privileges that they were used to have since they were born. It's really not that easy for anyone to get used to it. At least not for me. Your life will be totally different. But, does it matter. I guess if you feel like being born in the wrong body. Then if you had born as what you suppose to be then those privileges wouldn't had been with you since then.

If you’ll see what you are losing then you may not be able to feel the joy of what you have gained by becoming. Now you have corrected the loop that had started in wrong path since your birth , and you should be happy about that , I really like being in the attention I get from people around me. It really feels good like this is what I had missed since my school days and now finally i’ve got it. I’ve someone who cares for me , for what looks good on me and for me.
In India while travelling in the busses we have a tradition like the Grown-up man offers their seat to the old person or a lady who is standing, that feeling makes me realize everyday that how blessed i’m that I got a chance to become me at this age. The compliments on my look. And finally the person who completes me .
If look through all this journey you'll find that though you have lost something becoming you , but you have gained many things as well. The increased  caring & love  by your parents and the family. And the most important is that love & respect for yourself that you have gained by walking through this embers.

So instead of being angry from what you have lost , love what you have achieved.

You are free to share your  experiences here if you would like to.

How to get your name changed while transitioning in India

Changing of Name is one of the most important necessity which needs to be fulfilled asap. Don’t you know you can get your name changed along with gender without surgery in India. Yes you can ,in my interaction with many trans persons i found that many of the them in india are unaware of the fact that now they can get their name changed as well as gender changed on their Voter ID's , Pan card , Passport, and all the educational documents, after the NALSA judgement of August 2014. Now there is no necessity of getting your surgery done.

So below i’ll be explaining you how to get your name changed.

I’ve had many problems in getting my name changed 2 years back, but now i can at least dictate you the procedure.
  1. Make sure that you have been diagnosed by a psychologist for GID because for that a psychological assessment is must.(better prefer a government one). My psychologist had told to that get an appointment of a psychologist at govt. Hospital because government officials will trust them more.
  2. Now get an affidavit for name change done . Go to downloads for the format.
  3. Get your latest 2 passport sized photographs attested by a gazetted officer(example:- civil surgeons or  Any grade A government official).
  4. Now go for advertisement of name change on your local newspaper. (Keep the whole page of that published advertisement).
  5. Make the hard and soft copy of that printing matter on Ms Word format.
  6. Print the certificate for genuinity of soft copy content and get it attested.
  7. Now make a cover page stating what’s included.
  8. Get a demand draft of ₹700 on the favour of CONTROLLER OF PUBLICATION , DEPARTMENT OF PUBLICATION , CIVIL LINES ,DELHI . for extra copies you can pay ₹35 for each copy of gazette.
  9. Now get the Name change advertisement to be printed on Gazette of India. Send or submit personally all the documents to the Controller of publication , Department of publication ,Civil lines , Delhi-54 via Registered post only or go there and submit it.
  10. After a week you can call them for confirmation that you're documents have been received or not.
  11. Once, you’ll get your The Gazette copies attach its xerox  with all the data updation forms and get the name and gender changed .

Download formats for every required documents from the Download tab.

Trans Kids and the Issues that fall between them and their parents.

Recently i had talked to some trans friends online . And it was not a shock that more than 75% of had parents who were not supportive to them. I really don’t understand that why does these 75 % are left alone, what they did that they are made a culprit for. Already the trans children tend to be lonesome and victimized by depression due to their own Identity issues. And the time when they need their parents and close ones the most , they are left alone and are also opposed and harassed. According to me if one can't support you in the bad days have no right to oppose as well. My mom had told me that even if the parents has a child who is handicapped , or worst situation they can be in. The parents never leave them, but try to help them to heal. Then if my child is all good but with some of the minor issues for which they are not even responsible for then why play blame game with them . That you did everything on your own and is responsible for your own miseries.

 I’ll say no one is . It's not a choice and this is what we were born with. In this condition many of the children try to hurt themselves , and get rid of the hostile situation. And no parent would want to see their own child dead. 

 On the other hand when the parents support their child . It not only boost the confidence in the child and provide immunity to fight the possessive outside world. But, it also make the transition stage too easy. And if not only parents but brother and sisters are also accepting then the child blossoms to become a beautiful person that they are from inside. When our own family is accepting then there is maximum chances that the peoples outside such as relatives and neighbors are more accepting as well. Then the child may forget that they have any issue and live the life normally.

 A final advice to the kids as well , look if you're parents are not accepting then it may be possible that they didn’t understood the fact. And even if they did it is not that easy for them to accept it so easily. Some of them may think that it's just a phase that you are going through, so buy them some time, maybe later they would be accepting. Because it's what you want not leaving every loved ones behind at a cost of achieving your own identity,but if even then they didn’t behave gently and have a continuous rude behavior towards you badly then i’ll say just move on and be what you are suppose d to be. Why to be worried for those who can’t even accept who you are , but they want the one who you have been acting to be since child.

 My parents were not accepting as well , but……….. 

 Rest i’ll share in my next coming out post , stay tuned.